The Little Victories

Acknowledging and accepting limitations is not something I am generally very good at. I like to imagine myself as invincible, a ”tough cookie”, someone who can be leaned on and relied on- likkle but talawah, young but wise, a humming bird: small and fierce.

HAHA man do I need to get over myself. Seriously. I can’t possibly have those expectations of myself while working in a community of people I’m just getting to know. So I’m learning to focus on the little victories- they’ll add up eventually right?

Since the farmers meeting, we’ve held some meetings and work days with varying levels of success. The work days have accomplished a pegged out “floor plan” of the demonstration plot and we chopped down 9 shoots of bamboo (which are very, very long).  We are now focusing on the display for Denbigh and those who have been participating give me hope that we can pull off something to impress.

Another little victory has been a Community Notice Board that I finally painted yesterday. On it, I post things like meetings for the week and announcements for events. It resides on the outside wall of the CDC container, a great location overlooking the ball field. I’m hoping that the more I use it, the more community members will also use it.

The community has also been holding a talent competition for the past few weekends. We’re in the semi-finals now. Volunteers tend to speak about that one thing they did that really pushed their integration into the community- riding a donkey into the bush, dancing at a stage show etc. I sang as a ‘guest performance’ at the talent competition 2 weeks ago, it went well in terms of no mistakes and whatnot but I’m not sure it was “that thing”. I bet it’ll be something completely unexpected.

I will be getting a bicycle soon! There’s a little victory! It’ll probably take me 20 minutes to bike to the nearest other PCV’s (and the waterfront bar down the street from them), 30 to get to the beach! I’ll be able to make my own schedule and not worry so much about taxis! Maybe I’ll even get in better shape (my dairy farming body is now firmly a thing of the past, siiigh).

The last few weeks has had its fair share of bad news and nostalgia for home, and sometimes the little victories are bittersweet (heavy on the bitter). When a good friend goes home for good (we call it ETing, early termination), sometimes the tears not only reflect mourning for a friend but personal uncertainties, and the conclusion can only be the very littlest of victories- “I’m still here”.

The time is hot here, and rain has been falling hard almost every day- hurricane season is underway and most nights, even if the stars are out, lightening flashes in the distance. The combination of these discomforts has prompted me to set up my hammock across the bar of my “closet”. I’m therefore comfortably swinging and writing this entry, a fan pointed directly at me, my headscarves tickling my toes. The epitome of a little victory.

This coming weekend is the big PCV gathering in Portland- entirely across the Island from me. I will be leaving tomorrow morning to visit my girl J and staying with her overnight. Everyone will get together for the weekend in a big rented house and then on Monday, I get a free ride from Kingston with our Enviro Program Manager (with my bicycle in the trunk I hope). The weekend after that I get to see the Green Initiative crew again at Denbigh! THEN the first weekend in September my family is visiting me!! I think that’s enough silver linings to get me through the next month.