Stabilizers on the Rollercoaster

 

This week has been a roller coaster of gut tightening frustration/confusion and self assured contentment. The contract signing event marked the beginning of “Team Jamaica” Community Tourism Training starting this week, which I am “auditing” for the benefit of the 10 Beeston Spring attendees. Sitting quietly in the back of the air conditioned room while attendees learn about the history of tourism, service etiquette and cultural history, I use the internet to catch up on emails and update the Beeston Spring CDC facebook page (Beeston Spring Community Development Committee… ‘Like"’ it!). I mill around the room during group work and presentation preparation to help and offer input and I generally frustrate myself by thinking too much and writing random thoughts and lists into my notebook. I also take photos and videos.

 

Computer illiteracy is a surprisingly larger barrier than I had previously anticipated- It’s hard to ignore the incredible resource that the internet provides and even though I live on a fairly steep learning curve, I sometimes feel intellectually un-stimulated without my regular and thorough dose of treehugger.com, huffpost and general newsfeed (not restricted to facebook of course). To do so means to wait for hours as the internet loads each page slowly but surely- I keep my time brief and utilitarian. I was pleased with the cyber reaction of my updates to the CDC page however and excitedly explained how many notifications flowed into our inbox as I added pictures and events.

 

At the risk of sounding too publically exasperated, my idealistic and personal goals are at odds with situations arising with the agriculture group. I want to support the projects that were already in the process when I arrived but what does one do when the project that will be consuming much time and energy may not be the best option for the community? Meetings with outside bodies regarding the funding and fulfillment of this project have been continually canceled and so my understanding of the details are still not confirmed. I am in conflict on many planes.

 

On the plus side, Wednesday was overall a successful day. The safety and security officer, Ann, visited me- my first outsider visit! Also she came with a HUGE package from my family (ie Momma). The whole thing was pretty rewarding. It was a pleasure seeing a staff member, to chat and eat sweet sop (delicious fruit related to sour sop) on the veranda and let her into my new life. Wanting to see my workplace, she drove us up the hill as I hung out of the window to say hi to a few persons I recognized on the way up. I pointed out where each district started and told her what I knew about the community. She said that she was very impressed by my integration and involvement with the community so far which surprised me… I am simply doing what I came here to do! Going back down the hill, I had her pass my house to visit Barbara since she’d never met my supervisor. Astil, Barbara and other community members were all at the house, giving Ann a very good image of my life and the people who share it. It was a pleasant time chatting together on the porch and I like to think Ann was reluctant to leave.

 

I returned home to open my package and find all SORTS of goodies, a book about urban farming I’d started just before I left, a French press, MY HAMMOCK, some clothes and other goodies I’d asked for (and some I hadn’t). A hand written note from Mom furthered my happiness as I imagined my next day off- Reading and swinging in my hammock with a cup of iced coffee. Any knots of frustration disappear just thinking about it. Ahhhh my stabalizers… will you send Lucy and some home made sauce in my next package mom??

 

Wednesday ended with a very well attended, 3 hour long CDC meeting. Talk about a roller coaster of gut clenching and calmness. I can’t even begin to detail it but there is lots on the horizon in the way of computer classes, summer programs for kids, CDC elections, a Talent Show and 50th Anniversary of Independence parade/ festival and an overall reorganization of the CDC. WOO! …Someone send me a Red Bull. (jk, I hate that stuff)

Anyway, I think I've been doing a good job compartmentalizing, unlike at home where things can tend to pile up and overwhelm, for some reason once I remove myself, it is not usually difficult to shake myself from any negative thoughts or feelings. A new conversation or setting wipes the slate clean and I am (usually) able to readjust my attitude. I’m ok with this.

 

That’s all from me I suppose, until next time, Bless up!