Comparing Our Common

Wendel Berry has said at least two things in his life:

“Praise ignorance, for what man has not encountered he has not destroyed.”

and the more uplifting statement of:

“The earth is what we all have in common”

We might all live on this beautiful, elliptical ball of land, water and ice- but we do not all see the same side of her. She is a dynamic system of cyclic change, and in some places this is more apparent than in others ie: New York State, USA. Here nature moves in a pattern: birth, life and dormancy/ death (depending on what kind of creature you are) and this pattern continues on a predictable trajectory. The Birth of Spring, Life of Summer, the transitional dormancy of Fall and the quiet recharge of winter- and repeat.

I am a creature of the obvious and apparent cycle, a child of extreme heat and extreme cold, and a woman, apparently, of habit. And while I am not a destroyer, I am, of course, ignorant of of life in any alternative cycle. So now we move into Jamaica.

A week ago I resented the lack of autumnal beauty and crisp air in this ever green countryside and I found myself romanticizing Fall to a Jamaican friend “Things die and are reborn so blatantly in front of you that it’s impossible to ignore, it’s such a beautiful contrast” I remember gushing.

I try to explain fall to Jamaicans in this way- “You know when the breadfruit tree has a few leaves that turn orange, and then brown, and then they fall off the tree one at a time? well, imagine if all of the leaves on all of the trees changed color at the same time. And not just brown or orange but red and yellow and orange and sometimes all of those colors on the same tree. Then, in the span of a few weeks the wind blows, as if it understands that its sole purpose is to persuade every leaf to swirl and twirl and gust about until they reach the ground.”

That explanation got a little more poetic than it usually is but the message is the same. Except that the other day it occurred to me: The process of death, life, rebirth still happens here, but it is subtle, and the cycles are staggered so that life will always occur simultaneously with death. There is certainly a balanced and cooperative beauty in that as well. The breadfruit and almond tree sheds its leaves, but eternal photosythetic opportunity dictates that it must also leave most green. So they take turns. Just as I lose my hair but I am never bald, and my skin sheds but it never thins.

So there is a beauty in looking a little harder to appreciate nature and her need to out the old and welcome the new. And there is beauty in knowing that the two are not mutually exclusive, that one must feed the other no matter how the cycle presents itself.

What a unique perspective I now have. I am a creature accustomed to hibernation and the notion that agricultural prosperity ends around mid-November, so I nest and I stock up (and unintentionally rely on greenhouses and California) and I accept that I will have blackberries again next August. I am now in a place where mangos fall and cannot all be eaten and people can live off of their own piece of land, or in tandem with their neighbors’ throughout the entire year. I am in an environment that does not make a big dramatic event of change but rather does so subtly, with only the prolonged presence or absence of rain to somewhat boldly indicate that life is precious and fragile and by no means ever lasting.

But now I raise my glass to the ever-green, and the one brown leaf; and to you at home, watching the sun set over a flaming mountain of shifting tides and I say, “Cheers” to our mother earth and her dynamic system of cyclic change. She truly is what we all have in common.

(Almond Tree Leaf)

6 Months

Last week I attended the Early Service Peace Corps Conference in Ocho Rios along with the rest of my training class, Group 83. I felt like a grown up since my dad used to take us for these “all expenses paid” “vacations” while he lectured and sat in on conferences with the American Academy of Dermatology. It wasn’t quite that luxurious- the resort we stayed in was undoubtedly on a beautiful piece of beach, but by the decorations and deteriorating interior it was apparent that its heyday was closer to 1975. Regardless, Group 83 enjoyed free meals, air conditioning, fabulous instruction on project design, management, proposal writing, mental health and safety as well as took full advantage of unlimited pool and beach access. The latter two items mostly took place at night, since our days were jam packed with the former items. The whole experience was a great opportunity for bonding between sectors which I’m grateful for- there was little opportunity after sector training ended for such interactions and the laid back after-hours vibe of the week really lent itself to mixing and mingling. I also decided to do away with 1/3 of my hair with a very simple solution:

I call it “boy chic”

I am less prone to feeling overheated, though no less prone to sweating or being hot.
The conference ended on Friday but a few of us chose to travel further east to Oracabesa where we swam over a vast reef (and I wished I was a stronger swimmer/ didn’t hyperventilate in a snorkel), saw a fellow PCV’s site and stayed at an amazing hostel that I’ll definitely be recommending to visitors. The owner is an Italian hippie from Jersey with 4 very friendly dogs and who’s been living in Jamaica for many many years. The walls throughout the house are painted with beautiful murals and quotes:





the above mural says “Until the lions have their histories, tales of hunting will always glorify the hunter”



these two are a continual mural on two walls



Anyway, being back has been interesting. The American camaraderie I left behind was strong and comforting and a cool breeze today brought flashbacks to the autumn I know is gearing up back home. Today was a day of extreme home sickness- My biological clock is demanding crisp Mohonk Mtn hikes, colorful Sunday morning horseback rides, apple picking and pie and the warmth of a furry pooch in my arms. Scarf and sweater weather, cider donuts and hay rides.
As I continue sweating and thanking god I have less hair, I remind myself that I can come home to fall in two years, and I after that I’ll never have to miss another one <3

Below: I biked to my office- a continual and steep uphill ride for maybe a mile and a half. I met up with some school pickney and they decided to help me walk my bike the rest of the way. I got company on the walk AND physical assistance, damn I’m a lucky gyal.

Internal Narration

On days like today, when my only scheduled appointment is canceled and the day now seems a vast expanse of nothing to do, I look from my book, to my computer, to my disheveled mess of a room and resolve to put things in their proper place.

I am neither a slob nor a neat freak- as a high school science teacher once quipped, “nature tends towards entropy”. I am no exception, but when the mood arises, I prefer to do my cleaning in one fell swoop. And so, I gather the sweatiest of my clothes from the hamper and rinse them in the bath before letting them soak in a soapy 5 gallon bucket, doing the same with my less sweaty garb in another bucket.

To the tune of '”Ragged Wood” by the Fleet Foxes, I sweep my floor, gathering the golden strands of hair that shed from my head like a very long haired golden retriever. This is a common occurrence for the soft haired breed, and while we generally choose to be indifferent or ‘grossed out’, my counterparts in Jamaica find it wildly entertaining after the initial shock, and will grab the fistful of neglected hair from my hand and stroke it, twist it like twine or pretend to wear it like a wig.

I sweep around Larry, my resident lizard, and try to coax him towards the open window, but he takes an elegant swan dive from the wall to the floor and I leave him be. He is a useful creature in my insect populated room- my hope is that he’ll get big enough to eat the cockroaches who invade my personal space at 4am, when, as if in a dream, I find my hand grabbing at an exoskeleton and spiny legs and before I wake completely, instinctively fling the perpetrator away. I spent the half hour after that ensuring the monster was not still in my bed, and the 15 minutes after that wondering if I had not actually dreamed the whole affair entirely.

As I put new sheets on my bed, I think how much easier the process is without Lucy Goose jumping in and out of the billowing cloth and I suddenly crave that kind of distraction, when making a bed turned into a high energy game of chase or Taco Lucy (how long will it take her to untangle herself from the blankets??).

These activities took place with a running internal narration inside my head, which you have just read, while the Fleet Foxes continue to keep my mood light- so here I sit, on a freshly made bed, lavender incense burning and thinking, maybe now I’ll read my book.

Vacation etc

So Sincerely Sorry for that Span of Silence! (statement brought to you by my infatuation for alliteration )

This time lapse has been due to a need for internal introspection and a busy schedule. Also, I’ve had my nose stuck in a series of books in which the protagonist is a young woman in her mid 20’s who is 4ft 11in, less than 100 lbs and kicks a lot of ass… for some reason I find her character empowering, haha.

After a hectic month of high stress situations, I was only too glad to pack my backpack, hide my money on various locations against my body and hit the road for Montego Bay, where my parents were to meet me in the lobby of a resort hotel. Fresh from dropping their youngest baby girl off at college, they wasted no time transferring their pent up parental love directly into my arms. This love came in the form of the typical sort, hugs and kisses, but also in a gigantic bag of “home things”.

The first full day in the resort I spent feeling very guilty. Phrases like “Posh Corps” kept popping into my head and it was weird to be attended to by Jamaicans. I could wear strapless dresses and put on make-up… seriously? do I deserve this? I should be back in the bush sweating through my clothes!

That guilt lasted approximately 6 hours. I was able to extend my rare position to the volunteer in MoBay and we spent an evening catching up over dinner and the sunset. It was a strange juxtaposition of scenarios, Mom and Dad in Jamaica as I approach my 6 month point on Island. Not nearly the expert but certainly not a visitor. Taking them to my community was even stranger- I guided my father through the turns and potholes of the road through the hills from North to South Coast, I introduced them to the people I see on a daily basis and the fruits I’d come to love- breadfruit, jelly coconut, mango, sweet sop, ginep… We drove through my community, they sat on the porch of my office and I was given the amusing sight of my mother in the foreground and the empty ball field behind, where so many rowdy football games, events and parties g’wan routinely. I think if we’d come any other day but Sunday, they would have been overwhelmed, but most of the population was in church.

We went back to MoBay by way of the coast road, which took us through Negril. With Dad’s birthday dinner in mind, we avoided a crowded tourist hotspot famous for it’s sunset and ate at an adjacent restaurant that was quiet, secluded, served delicious food and had an equally awesome view of the sunset. Probably as perfect an evening there is. (see Mom’s album on FB for proof).

They drove me back home and I felt refreshed as I put my “new” things from home in their rightful place.

I’m looking at my place here a little differently, and I have to remind myself of these things when my gut starts tying into knots. I am the first volunteer in this community and so, I need to accept that my role here may not seem big and impressive. Some community members may not feel the difference I make, but if I can clear a path for the next volunteer then perhaps I can consider that a job well done, and if I do something that the community needs, even if it’s not directly related to my skill set (enviro/ag), I’ve done a service- and isn’t that the point?

My community needs a LOT of help, and I might be “likkle but talawah” but I aint superwoman.

Here are a few photos of things that happened in August- Preparing food for a Fun Day and a Farmer’s Workshop taught by NEPA.

Making Coconut Milk from Scratch: Shred coconut, blend with water, squeeze and filter, repeat.

 

		NEPA Workshop VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

…Only took 4 months and NEPA’s presence to turn all that lumber I’d dismantled into the compost bin I’d intended it to be…

In the Swamp

“Once upon a time there was traveler on horseback who found himself facing a swamp. He doesn't know whether to go around the swamp or try to wade through it.
He asks a local boy, "boy, does this swamp have a hard bottom?" and the boy says "yes it does".
So the traveler guides his horse into the swamp and promptly begins sinking into the muck deeper and deeper. He shouts to the boy "I thought you said it has a hard bottom!" to which the boy replies "It does sir, you're just not there yet!"”

Perceptions, challenges, ironic outcomes… This little anecdote just reminded me of Peace Corps Life.

Ohhhh Jamaica

The highlight of my week has been the fruiting Mulberry tree just outside my window. I can scope out particularly bountiful branches as I dress in my room- the boughs easily bend so that seemingly unreachable treasures become sweet and warm treats. A simple reward as I pass in and out of the yard routinely every day. Mulberries are easily my favorite berry, and they remind me of my grandmother’s house upstate, before the tornado knocked their impressive tree down.

Also, pear season is gaining momentum, guava and plum too (plums in Jamaica are nothing like the type you’d imagine from the states… green and oval with a hard texture similar to an apple or American pear). I got laughed at the other day for mashing up my pear with scallion, salt and pepper. ‘It’s a sandwich!’ I reasoned, ‘It looks disgusting!’ they replied. I decided not to point out that I thought their tin mackerel and tuna fish with rice lunch was more disgusting to me.

Alex sent me a package with the game Set in it and I’ve been teaching the kids at the summer program how to play. Teaching them is frustrating, since the game is very hard to pick up on and requires a lot of attention to detail, but a few kids are picking up on it and they ask me any time they see me if I have Set with me. Last night was ‘games night’- kids play monopoly, cards, puzzles etc while adults and older kids play dominoes. Of course I had Set, and two of the boys from the program were getting pretty good, so I decided to play instead of just deal. They got a kick out of getting beaten which I found surprising, but the competition was the fun part and they tried very hard to ‘beat teacher’. By the end of the night I was surrounded by a group of young men shouting ‘Set!’ and trying desperately to understand the game. A few picked up on it, which was cool to witness. I almost got my nose broken during a particularly spirited race to point out a Set of cards on the board. Watch out Jamaica, a new game craze is coming your way.

A man who noticed my arm hair dubbed me ‘fuzzy’. As this is an age old insecurity of mine, I’m not super psyched about this nickname, however, he said he liked it- and made a few lewd comments to support that statement. Oooooooh Jamaica.

This is a leap-frogging random thoughts kind of post, so I leave you with this quote from one of my favorite movies, Big Fish:
”They’d talk about just about anything… except for religion.”
”Why don’t they talk about religion?”
”It’s rude to talk about religion, you never know who you’re going to offend.”

This quote rang true when the third question posed to me by a complete stranger was: “are you a Christian?” my response to that question is always that I was raised Catholic, sometimes (and this particular time) I add that I stopped going to church regularly when I was about 17 (or that I haven’t been to church in a while). The stranger’s supplemental question was one for the books: “Is that because you started having sex?”

Oooooh Jamaica.

Standing On A Stumbling Block

It’s been a very dynamic past week. Literally the day I wrote my last post, I had my first real meltdown and left a meeting before work actually started (but 3 hours after the designated meeting time…yeah). The details are unimportant, every volunteer has those days where the work ethic and social tendencies of cultures simply clash with an uncomfortable resonance. I was lucky that the next day I left to visit J 7 parishes away, I needed time away with a friend.

We met a whole bunch of PCV’s in Portland and stayed in a beautiful log cabin on the edge of a cliff, in the yard of an ex-patriot. I slept in my hammock on the back porch, swinging to the tune of the ocean against the land, and I woke up to a hot but brilliant sunrise. The weekend contained a bit of bonding, catching up, drinking, cooking, dancing, swimming in some pretty large waves and lounging on the beach. It was time that I needed to readjust my perspective and consider my position in the community. The first step is to admit you have a problem- I have a few.

PCV Getaway VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

I returned home with my neighboring PCV’s by way of official (air conditioned) PC vehicle, thanks to our Program Manager, Dan. I enjoyed my veggie burger from Burger King immensely before leaving Kingston (trivial and unimportant fact, but as we’ve discussed already- little victories). Dan and Anika were coming into W-more (here on in I’d like you to understand how annoying it is to type out “Westmoreland”, so we have a new abbreviation) for site visits, to check in on volunteers, see the sites and chat about progress and whatnot. He also was able to drop off our bicycles

As always, meeting with Dan put me in a good place. I explained how very many projects Beeston Spring had in its arsenal, the steep learning curve I’m climbing daily and my recent meltdown. Describing the incident, I was able to hear the rain of dominoes falling against each other, pushing me over and to the edge. Dan empathized with the situation so completely that I felt validated in leaving the meeting. He also stated his pride in my progress and perception of the community/culture. Whew, that felt good.

The next meeting I attended to build the Denbigh display, I walked in as an outsider, and asked what they’d gotten done. Instead of delegating, I watched and offered assistance. I knew I’d thrown them off the other day by leaving, and I wanted to show them that I’d been humbled, that I was over it. My moment came when the Carpenter teased me about something we’d argued over previously, and I laughed at my ‘mistake’. Since then, the rest of the week went smoothly and pleasantly.

Building the Denbigh Display VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Yesterday, Friday Aug 3, was a jam packed day of…stuff. Woke early to add the finishing touches to the display before the bus came to pick it up. The community was celebrating Jamaica’s 50th year of Independence, so I decided to get a ride to the Agriculture Show Saturday morning in order to enjoy the festivities of the day/night. We worked until about 1 and stayed for festivities until about 2:30, at which time the heat and dirt from the earlier work became uncomfortable- so I headed home for a bath and lunch. A storm on its way was being closely monitored by the Peace Corps Office, and rumor was that we might need to be on stand by. The official word came around 4pm- no volunteer was to leave the parish or their sites until further notice. The Greenies are currently not very happy campers. Denbigh is the biggest Agriculture Fair on the Island, apparently much like a state or county fair, the Peace Corps has its own booth for the first time ever and many of us have been working with our communities on displays for a few weeks. Major, major bummer. I hope it at least rains today- the sun is out, the heat is oppressive and the hurricane isn’t supposed to hit until Monday. On the bright side, Jamaica is celebrating, my community is partying and I look good in Black, Green and Yellow.

Reppin the JA Vybz (vibes)

 

Jamaica 50th VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Sunset VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL