Saturday, February 2, 2013

Riding in Taxis With Strangers

I’ve been wanting to write this post since I returned, because the humor of riding in taxis in Jamaica really hit me coming back to this ridiculously wonderful country.

This post is also directed at group 84, because I wish I truly understood what I’m about to tell you upon reaching my site.

So you all know by now that taxis in Jamaica run route: they go from point A to point B all day. You might have also picked up that there are generally two types of transportation- the typical 5 seater (sometimes a hatchback) and a coaster bus that sits about 18-20 people. Cars and coasters with red plates are legal, registered taxis, sometimes people run taxi that are not registered and they have white plates like everyone else.

Now lets talk about taxi communication. First of all, you should wait on the side of the road the car is going so no one has to cross the street (follow community members lead on this and most things). The driver usually keeps his hand out the window, if you see a white plate car and there’s a hand hanging out with bills folded between his fingers, he’s running taxi (that does NOT mean you should take the car- always opt for red plate unless you KNOW the driver). If the driver holds his hand out the window palm up or with his finger pointing where he’s going, he’s asking “need a ride?”. If you are, flag him down, if you’re not just shake your head or wave your hand and he’ll keep driving.

If you flag down a taxi that is full up (filled), the driver will hold out his hand palm down or he will flash his headlights at you.

Now, here is where I wish I’d learned more about taxi “etiquette”. A taxi man may stop and you might say to yourself “there’s not a square inch of this taxi that’s not occupied by a body.” It’s all about perception. If you truly think the taxi man is just being greedy at the cost of your comfort, and you want no part of this madness, just tell him “gwaan man, I’ll catch one nex one”. I warn you that if this becomes a habit, you’ll be waiting for hours for a taxi, especially around 8:30 or 9 am and 3-6:30pm. Being a small female, there’s always room for me, usually doubled up in the front seat. It’s common to share the front seat between two medium sized women or for the smaller woman to sit on a pillow on the console. Men, don’t sit in the front unless you know the driver- it’s a male machismo thing.

If there are not 4 people in the back seat, there is room for you.

If there are 3 adults and one child in the back, you can also fit. Smaller people, particularly children, sit on the inside, which means that you may get out to allow a child or smaller adult to sit inside of you (if you have a window seat), I also do this when I know I’m getting off before most people in the taxi, especially if it’s packed. If you get looks or people seem discontent to be so smalled up, just explain “mi soon come off”.

If you have no idea where to sit but the driver says he has room for you, wait till he tells you where- sometimes he’ll want you to get in on the opposite side to where you’re standing, and he’ll usually indicate to you by pointing or just saying so. Other times, some men will get out of the car and move to the trunk or hatchback, feel free to be amused by this, “only in Jamaica”. Some taxi men take charge of their passengers and like them neatly stacked- others don’t really care.

Now on to coaster etiquette. Coasters and taxis often run the same route, especially to and from major hubs like the parish capitol and another semi-urban locations. The difference is about JA$30 (coaster is cheaper) and sometimes as much as 30 minutes, coasters make a lot more stops and fit a lot more people, so they take longer to load at point A, and longer to get to point B (since you can catch a route taxi/coaster at any point on its route). Sometimes the cheaper ride is worth it, especially if you get on early and you can pick your own seat ( I take a car taxi when I’m in a rush or waiting on the route and take the first available ride). Normal seats in a coaster fill up first and simply due to preference- of course if you know you’re getting off soon you should sit forward and in an aisle seat. Once normal seats are full, an extra seat is added with a padded board between each aisle seat, and that fills up back to front. If you’re “lucky” enough to get that seat and someone behind you gets off, you must also get off to let them off, and take that persons seat. People accept coasters for what they are, crowded, hot and a bit of a wild ride- they will most likely load and unload to let others off without complaint, but it’s still helpful if you try to sit strategically.

There are also a lot of variables when riding in a taxi. Some drivers will take detours to let off passengers that don’t live en route. During slow time, it’s not unusual for a driver to double back about 1/3 of the way out if he wants more passengers. Once you sit you’re stuck, it’s very rude to get out of a taxi once you’ve sat down- I‘ve regretted this rule many a time as a taxi man ushers me quickly into his car and I sweat and watch two other taxis leave before we fill up enough. With this rule in mind, a taxi man can pretty much go where he wants with his passengers until they start complaining- feel free to join in with a kiss of the teeth when this happens. If people demand he “tek time”, you’ll probably feel the same as he goes around the turn on two wheels and so feel free to join in on that one too. I’ve seen passengers get out of a taxi early, complaining loudly, and there are a few drivers that I just don’t take because they are rude or drive too unsafe. It’s also worth it to note that many taxi drivers run errands for community members, and that’s not necessarily something you or anyone else should complain about.

Another thing to realize, especially in your community, is that beeping at you while you walk is a drivers way of saying “waa gwan!” or “heads up, I’m behind you”- it’s not meant to be rude or to frighten you, just greet back with a raised hand, head nod or a shout, it’ll go a long way for that night when you find yourself stuck somewhere and need a drive- nice people get more in that case.

So it goes if you want to get around here. Embrace it even if you don’t love it, it’ll set you apart as a “yardie”, and you’ll have so many more interesting experiences. Ask any previous PCJ volunteer for their best taxi story, they’ll all have one.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Going a Foreign

In Jamaica, international travel to countries like the US, Canada or England is simply “going a foreign”. The place itself if rarely specified, to live outside of Jamaica or the West Indies is just being “at” Foreign.

So this past Thursday I left for a very frosty Foreign with a basically empty suitcase and the calm acceptance that “home” is now a decidedly ambiguous term in my vocabulary.

After some very fortunate plane rides that put me at a window seat and next to some friendly and engaging passengers, I landed in the dark cold northland and hoped that my parents remembered to bring me socks and a coat. I hugged my sisters for the first time in 10 months and proceeded to the parking garage, where my canine counterpart leaped into my arms to my great surprise.

The first 12 hours of being home were a strange warp of “nothing is different” and “wow that’s different”- different not only referring to different from Jamaica, but also different from when I left. Like, the iPhone 5 is super thin and Mackelmore’s
‘Thrift Shop’ actually plays on the radio. My father knows about more youtube videos than I do and my baby sister is constantly “snap chatting” on her smart phone (when did this become a thing??)

So, instead of filling this post with tons and tons of anecdotes with floury writing and too much description, I’m just going to list the things that I achieved on my “to do before I go back” list.

- Fist, and probably easiest: go to Starbucks- During my first visit to a Starbucks, the smell upon entering was so intoxicating that my heart actually started beating faster.

- Go to NYC (and see Newsies on Broadway)

- Go Shopping: overwhelming and irrelevant as winter wear and convenient electronics are just not things required in Jamaica.

- Go for Hikes with friends and with dog: check, check and check again

- See hometown friends AND college friends: Some of my college friends surprised me my first night home by showing up during dinner! Then I drove down to PA to see a few more lovely faces Smile

- Spend time with my sisters, by driving the youngest to Boston for her second semester of college.

- See some extended family, which is hard when everyone spreads out across NY, and the entire country

- Ride a Horse: oh yes I did, and well (thank god since dad was watching)

- Drink good beer: I didn’t drink the same beer twice, I love how crafted beer is like, so in right now.

- Get a Kindle

- Sit at the coffee shop where the hometown friends assemble. Just like old times.

- Catch up on my favorite TV shows

- Eat an assortment of: Bagels, Pizza, (goat) Cheese and cheese based products, Coffee, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, pretzels, apple pie and Muffins

- See a snowfall: the morning I left we got two inches of snow and the flakes were still falling when we drove down the driveway.

14 days was just long enough to do the things I wanted without feeling too overwhelmed. I was also able to do some serious cross-cultural educating while home; family and friends were so curious about what I do and what living in Jamaica is like. I even spent the entire connecting flight from Orlando to NY answering the questions of the very enthusiastic (and possibly tipsy) soccer dad sitting next to me. Take THAT Volunteer Report Form!

By the time it was time to leave, I was ready. Being home was a great indicator of how integrated I’d become as I told animated stories and caught myself saying “yeah man” way more than any American would. I have people in Jamaica expecting me back, and I was missing things that I realized being home, feel familiar to me now.

So now I’m back, and the sun has cooled down from it’s usual summer fury, accompanied by that refreshing Christmas breeze carrying the scent of hundreds of flowers and the sound of the songbirds who retreated to the warmth for the winter. Yesterday I was so content sitting on the side of the road with my man, I couldn’t stop smiling like a complete goofball, because I’m glad to know that I’m glad to be back.

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It’s a bird, It’s a plane… Clark Kent aint got nothin on my pooch.

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“The Great Fog”

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The train suddenly becomes blocked by fallen Sandy victims.
“What should we do?” “Let’s keep going”

cue bruises

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Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Christmas Inna Jamaica

The time is hot on the West side of the Island. Hot and dry. So dry that the brush and grass looks as though an over-zealous farmer Dramazone’d (a chemical that kills brush) everything in his path- brown and crunchy. A fire caught by the road near my gate and it burned so hot that it took several returns throughout the day and night to put it out.

Now, East of the Blue Mountain Range is a completely different story. Reports from yonder describe musty clothes, floods and frigid nights. Share the wealth people, I’m shriveling up like a raisin over here!

Christmas in Jamaica, within the home, is different depending on your economic status. Some kids get visits from Santa but for others Santa, and the subsequent gift giving, is yet another confusing American tradition that has nothing to do with them. Yet, Santa came to visit the Basic School, with a crew of Sandals Employees, to the tune of “Walkin in a Winter Wonderland”. When you ask a rural child what they want for Christmas, some look at you blankly, some respond that they want some crayons, and still some want a video game (those children may have a parent or other relative living and working in the States). But no matter what, fruit cake with lots of wine baked into it and sorrel juice are prepared as traditional food items.

Christmas in Jamaica, within the community or even country, is largely about looking good and going out to parties. In the 3 weeks leading to Christmas I attended more parties and was out later than I have been collectively since arriving in Jamaica. Girls get their hair done in the traditional 3-4 big braids- some add a bright streak of color to them, women splurge on a weave, get their fingers and toes done and buy new clothes of sheer neon. Men buy new shoes or shirts, get their hair re-done and visit the barber for a shave. Most of the women look so sexy and beautiful it’s impossible for my pale, diminutive shape to not be in awe. Some women go way overboard with towering piles of hair, bright sequined clothes and/or heels that would make the Spice Girls cry, but either way, people-watching during the Christmas season is an awesome activity which I highly recommend. Especially at the “Grand Market” in the Parish Capital, where the road is blocked and hoards of people roam the streets shopping and eating cotton candy and jerk to the tune of whichever sound system is beating the loudest. This evening goes late into the night and it is common to “bleach” or stay out until the sun rises.

I reflected on the reason for the widespread self indulgence on boxing day: if you don’t have money to spend on “tings”, you might as well spend what you do have to make yourself and your family look fabulous. I dig it, and it made me appreciate what I had been seeing that much more.

Anyway, anyone could have told me that Christmas in Jamaica is different than in America and I’d have believed them, but just how different was my prerogative to find out. I did not come across any deep seeded traditions, family or otherwise (that is not to say they do not exist). There were no carolers, garland, mistletoe or over-lit homes, although there are pointsetta plants growing happy and large (pointsetta grown in a pot back home becomes a large, woody bush here.) I did not enjoy an enormous, sit-down meal, nor did the prep for the meal we did have take all day (there was a ham, rice and peas and family, but it was a scattered affair) The lack of familiar tradition, while my family back home was acting out the same wonderful play they do every year, would have been unbearable if I didn’t have my visit home in a week to look forward to. A moment of stress due to other external forces the other day resulted in a few tears and the single complaint of “I’m just so hot… waaaaaah!”, even though the reasons for my unhappiness were much more complicated. Last night, I dreamed of snow.

No doubt those who know me read this and thought to themselves, loud parties? late nights? crowds of people? How very not Adri. Well, I took a pretty observational approach to Christmas this year so while it was entertaining and eye opening and educating, it wasn’t my Christmas so to speak. They say home is where the heart is, and my heart is a bit split these days- but I’ll add a level: Holidays is where the Family is, and it was starkly obvious that mine is currently a thousand miles away. So cheers to batti riders, bright colors, late nights and dancehall christmas songs, but I will forever raise my glass to chestnuts roasting, jack frost nipping and yule tide carols. See you soon family, I love and miss you dearly. 

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Photo Bombin’

 

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Some kids playing on a swingless swing set at the Basic School Fun Day

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Bluefields Bay Fisherman’s Beach and Protected area

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At a contract signing to repave a road in the community. I thought the vagina diagram hanging over the Social Development Committee Manager for the Parish was hilarious.

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Sunday, December 16, 2012

Dancing On The Ceiling

Publically endorsing Ev as my personal man friend and sidekick has altered the flavor of my life in this little place. There is now an entire entourage of men who have his, and therefore my, back. Who treat me like a sister, or dare I even say, a friend. Up the hill past taxi time? No worries, I now have a personal escort down the steep, dark and lonely road should I require him. A direct result of this is that I have sat out past 9pm watching more domino games than I have since training, I’ve had more conversations with people I only sort of knew before, and I get to go out to parties. And this leads me to my latest experience.
Back home, I am the girl who goes dancing at a club maybe twice a year. If you know me, you know that I prefer the socialization of an organized camping trip or the local “townie” bar to anything loud and showy. That, however, is not how Jamaican’s roll. So this weekend, sensing that Ev and I needed a change of pace, I readily agreed to join him at a dance walking distance from my house. The great thing about most events in Jamaica is that they are held outside, and my social claustrophobia big ups that one. The dance was held in the yard of a small bar with a cook shop hut in the opposite corner serving soup and chicken. Local dogs slunk around avoiding people but scarfing down chicken bones. The yard had the sound system set up on three sides of the yard with the DJ outside the bar, under the tin roof awning. When this bar has dances that I don’t attend, I can hear the music from my house…so it was pretty loud.
Initially, the dancing was mostly swaying and slow winding as men played domino and women slowly trickled in, standing along the roadside to pree the party potential, dressed in the customary party garb: on the bottom, batti riders or just leggings, on top a sheer shirt and matching bra, a marina or a belly shirt, a bright neon color belt (not buckled though), flat sandals or bright, clean sneakers and bold jewelry or hair accessories, either brightly colored or sparkly.
Now ladies, if you want to feel particularly self conscious in Jamaica, going to a dance with your boyfriend who is a particularly adept dancer is probably the way to go. I was content at first to arbitrarily wind with my man along to late 90’s pop and rap, and even tried a little harder once the music became the reggae/dancehall mix. And then the music picked up and the dancing got serious.
Not sure if I’ve mentioned yet just how sexual Jamaican dance is, but even the most cultural and historic dances are pretty obvious about it. Dancehall has taken these cultural dances of strong hip movement and polite distances to a whole new level. I mean, these women would put an accomplished yogi master to shame with the undulating contortions going on in the yard. Bent in half, peering between spread legs as her ass somehow manages to vibrate; in a split to the ground, bouncing up and down to the beat; moving nothing but the ass, as though an extra vertebrae has been specially created to pivot in all directions. I knew these dance moves existed- had often witnessed them with fellow PCV’s or at small dances in the community, but this very provocative display of athleticism, grace and contortion put me pretty far out of my element. To an American, watching Jamaicans dance (esp. dancehall) is a lot like watching people dry hump, or like watching women display their sexual prowess in public (but it’s also captivating, like watching cirque dis ole). To a Jamaican it’s just dancing- like doing the Funky Chicken or a box step.
When a dancehall song began frantically demanding “Bend over, bend over, bend over!!!” and the ladies happily complied while their dance partners wound all round behind them, I became an anthropologist. The extreme homophobia present in Jamaica just doesn’t mesh with these very caboose-focused dance moves. Another piece of advice to future PCV’s, don’t overthink these things in the moment- let it be what it is and pontificate later. I began to shut down around this point as far as my comfort zone threshold went because I stopped being and started overthinking.
And then, a couple climbed up on a domino table, winding skillfully against each other and holding the beams of the veranda roof until, suddenly, they were both suspended, with hands and feet gripping the beams, still winding with each other.
I stuck around maybe an hour after that, not being able to stop watching the spectacle in front of me, or being too stubborn to walk away but regardless, around 3am I decided I was ready to walk back to my comfort zone.
So, what did I learn from this experience that I can pass on to others?
1) Jamaican dance may be provocative to us as Americans, but to Jamaicans, like my boyfriend, it’s just dancing and it doesn’t mean any more or less than that (just imagine how insecure one could feel in that situation if they didn’t know this interesting fact).  
2) When out of your element, stay in the moment, or confide in someone who gets you- freezing up and getting in your head will make it so much harder to rebound.
3) When assimilating, don’t forget that you are not an actual citizen of that culture, and that’s ok. No one expects you to be. And chances are, they’re all looking at YOU with envy too.
I think it’s important to point out as well that I did not come to these conclusions completely on my own, that my other half (the yin to my yang, if you will Winking smile) played a large role in getting me to these realizations. Big ups to him! Mi wan lucky gyal fi true.

Quick Glossary Review:
Batti Riders: “Batti” = butt, so a “batti bwoi” is a derogatory term for a gay man, while “batti riders” are shorts that just cover a woman’s ass.
Pree: to stand aside and watch, to check out, to judge. Also one can ask “why yuh pree?” or “why pree?” meaning loosely, “whatcha doin?”

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Rumor Has It…

Sometimes I think, “Poor Jamaica, her reputation precedes her and it’s not always a good one”. In my last entry I wrote briefly about how I see tourists and I’d like to make a small disclaimer. Tourists are told things about Jamaica that are generalizations meant to keep them “safe”, but we as Peace Corps Volunteers, particularly as women, were told similar things coming into the country.

Tourists though, do not have the benefit of realizing what is true and what is a generalization, for they are here for only a short while and are rarely without a chaperone or beyond the “safe” part of town. We as PCV’s get a unique opportunity to quell the rumors, big up the reputation and truly understand the method behind the madness that is Jamaica.

When I came to Jamaica I wasn’t sure I’d make friends, I was sure everyone would see me as a child, that I was in for a lonely next two years. Sometimes I still think that, with one exception.

I remember in training the women would get heaps and heaps of advice regarding how to handle men. The general consensus in these conversations went something like “men are dogs, handle with humor”. I was sure I’d never be able to trust a single one enough to be friends, let alone date. The girls from previous groups with Jamaican boyfriends would nod fervently to the advice while giving their own, always with a quick “most of them” thrown in. Now I get it.

If you read this as often as I write it, you’ll remember that my “welcome to Beeston Spring” party involved a one man welcome and pledge for my safety on behalf of the football team. And “pleasant conversation” afterwards. 7 months later, that same man calls me at night for things like:

“baby are you asleep? I don’t have much credit but look out the window, there’s a rainbow around the moon”JamRock November 010

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I’m not saying that all or even most men in this country are to be trusted. It’s true that most men will cheat on their women, many will want to “spread their seed” and so will jump at the opportunity to get with a white woman, many don’t know how to talk to a woman like a person, most don’t know how to even approach a white (American) woman appropriately, most will cat-call and act a fool, especially around their friends, and the male machismo is stronger than any American frat house could achieve, but most of all, very few believe in “the complete package” and I think that is the fundamental difference between the American ideal of love and the view of love in Jamaica.

Not to make a generalization about American ideals- they are so very diverse- but simply to say that most Americans value having one partner at a time. Whether that partner is for life or simply fits right now doesn’t matter at a young age- that person is a lover, friend and confidant, and free time is spent with that person in either a social or personal setting, because you are enough for your partner, and vice versa.

The complete package is hard to find in rural Jamaica. Like, very, very hard to find. Add the prevalence of the whole teen pregnancy, “baby daddy” and “baby momma” connection, the low graduation rate from high schools and the propensity for rural students to struggle in school, especially in English subjects and it’s almost impossible to widen a worldview enough to accept the idea of “the complete package”, or for people to respect themselves enough to be one. In America, Love IS finding one’s complete package, Jamaicans tend to “love” the woman or man they go home to but have their sexual or intimate desires fulfilled by someone else.

A few months ago I asked a trusted female friend how she knows when a man is safe to date. She gave me a quiet smile and waved her phone by her head. “Talk only, and if they are still interested after a few months, they are probably for real.” Mek sense enough fi mi!

So how did I end up finding a complete package in my rural community choc’ full o’ “typical Jamaican men”? A lot of luck, even more patience (I’m sure none of you ladies have gone on 6 months worth of “dates” with a man before calling him your boyfriend or holding his hand in public), vigilance, self assurance and a little detective work (‘10 out of 10 people surveyed answered “yes” to “is he a good person?”’…in a small community stuff like that is notable) and also, did I mention luck?

And now is the point where I knock on wood before I swallow my words.

ps- meet Poppy Seed, so named for her reddish tint and tiny stature:

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Sunday, December 2, 2012

Traveling About

Wuh yuh seh friends? I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, traditional or not.

My Thanksgiving was a mixture of both. I traveled to Kingston to the All Volunteer Meeting the weekend of Thanksgiving and stayed with our Country Director for one of the nights (hot water, air conditioning, internet and a pool, yes please!). There was turkey and stuffing and even cranberry sauce, pumpkin soup and spinach (which is very rare here). The gathering was about 15 people smaller than I’m used to for Thanksgiving, but a Skype session to home brought me those familiar faces. I’m sure I sounded insane with my high pitched excited voice, closed off in the guest bedroom by myself.

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The meeting was a great way to give volunteers the opportunity to share their volunteer experiences- what works, what doesn’t, how to handle kids, teach about the environment, make recycled crafts, teach HIV awareness, plan events and all sorts of other fun stuff. It also offered groups 82 and 83 an opportunity to spend time with each other which I appreciated since my Parish has the largest influx of group 83 volunteers, I spend most of my free time with them.

After that two of us joined J in St. Thomas for the next two days. Autumn hadn’t seen her site and I had not seen it since she moved to a new apartment and got a puppy. IMG_0685

On Sunday we walked about 3 miles into a town called Bath, aptly named for it’s healing hot springs. Turning off the main road, we followed an uphill, twisty, turny and very bushy road until we came to the end- a shabby looking hotel with a dirt path branching off before the gate, over a bridge and on the opposite side of a stream (what they call a river). We followed a well traveled but narrow dirt path past shacks selling snacks, jerk and home made pimento massage oil. The Fountain as it’s called is known for it’s healing power, many rasta can be seen there and if you’re into it, you can allow a strange Jamaican man to massage you with the oil on a rock by the stream. Classy place.

When we arrived to the stream we found many more Jamaicans there than we expected and, being the only whitey’s, we wished we’d thought to wear less skimpy bathing attire. Regardless, we made our way up stream to a spot that was not as crowded and made camp. IMG_0693The hot springs seep from the rocky walls above the stream, some springs just trickle down, others are diverted by bamboo acting as pipes which are strung to the trees above. This creates little showers of hot water within the stream. It was quite enjoyable and no one paid us much mind once we walked by them all to get to our spot. I will certainly be going back.

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This past weekend I went to the annual Reggae Marathon in Negril to volunteer and cheer on PC runners. Most volunteers ran the 10k or the half marathon, one good friend actually ran his first full marathon, we were so proud! I can’t think of anything I’d want to do less than run 26 miles straight in the tropical land of Jamaica. Thankfully the race started at 5:15am so about half of our volunteering was nice and cool (although we didn’t have the opportunity for coffee until the sun was well up, around 9am- not worth it at that point). I was instantly brought back to Mom’s old Marathon-ing days, wrapped in blankets and cheering like crazy people at every check point. This time we manned one station and handed out water, bananas and Gu (remember that stuff Mommy??) And I started everyone out with the cheering, the veteran that I am at this stuff (ha, haha).

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Cheering and Supporting Our Man in the distance

 

 

 

 

The crowd of runners were the most diverse group of people I’ve been among since I got to the Island, and I was immediately aware of a few things while at the festive pasta dinner. 1) People watching is much more interesting once you’ve lived among Jamaicans for 7 months. 2) I am miserably out of the fashion loop. 3) One of our PCV’s has an exact replica of himself wandering around. 4) I am still not used to being treated like a tourist, and I’ve ceased recognizing myself as “A White Person”.

I’d like to address point number 1 because there are a number of reasons for this statement. While the motto of for Jamaica is “Out of many, one people”, it doesn’t stop the fact that most people I am surrounded by on a daily basis range from light brown to black skin, I am always the proverbial “black sheep. Obviously not the case at the marathon. Additionally, Jamaicans are very blunt about appearance, as I’m sure I’ve described already, and in my assimilation process I’ve become significantly less creative in choosing descriptors. I am especially aware of this when blogging for if I allowed the words in my head to spill out they would be very NOT politically correct, which is a highly esteemed behavior by Americans. That kind of goes along with point number 4. While I know I’m white because, well, I AM, I have stopped feeling painfully self conscious of it, and I see beyond it. This often prompts strange comments on my part when a van of tourists drives through my community: “What’s with all the white people?!” My fellow PCV’s do not carry that title in my mind, they too are locals in their own right but tourists, those who are just visiting, who believe the rumors about Jamaica and Jamaicans they are told, are in my mind…White People.

Derogatory? probably. Generalization? maybe. The very stereotype we all fought against, and still will for months and months? Yes, definitely. But as I’m not quite there yet, let’s not mince apart the moral or cultural implications of this realization in this entry, mmkay?